“DEATH CAME TOO EARLY FOR…..”
She called me that evening after so much waiting accompanied with biting of fingers and a little laughing here and there to reduce the accumulated anxiety that was eating me up and well, to put up a front for my little sister who was also trying so hard to act calm, but I could read through her; she was scared, we were both scared.
Deep down, I had this feeling my fear was going to be the case at the end of the day, but for the first time in a while, I decided not to let fear take over me and so I was optimistic. I prayed silently to God to not let her go, I hoped that my mum would call and tell me that it was something minor and that she was good, just like how we see it in movies, I desperately needed that phone to ring, I needed to know what was going on.
Well, it rang, I picked up hurriedly and asked "what’s up?" and mum said with a shaky voice, "aunty kemi is gone". For a minute I was in disbelief. I refused to believe it, I shouted the most resounding and painful "no" of my life. I was in shock, aunty Kemi couldn’t have been dead, it just didn’t make any sense.
This was someone I saw the previous week, we talked, laughed and she was happy, or at least she looked happy. The day before was my birthday and it was the most amazing day ever and the next day, aunty kemi was dead. There was just too much to process and I didn't know where to start from, I was still savouring the moments of my birthday the previous day and in less than 24 hours, it all went down the drain.
I had never lost anyone so close to me before, so it was a whole new feeling, I didn’t know what to think, I didn’t even know how to feel, it felt like I was numb at first, but honestly, I was sad and scared. All that kept running through my mind was "death came too early for aunty kemi".
The degree of pain depends on how close you are with the deceased, and while aunty kemi wasn’t directly related to me, I was so fond of her. We lived close to eachother and we saw every day. The thought of not seeing her anymore gave me goosebumps, I was cold—internally cold.
Perhaps I don’t know what it feels like to lose a relative like a mum or dad or a sibling, but for a fact, I know what it feels like to be unable to see someone you used to see and laugh with everyday. That feeling brings confusion, uneasiness and trepidation. You’re confused on how one day you’re seeing this person and the next day, it’s all over. You’re uneasy because you have to settle with the fact that they are really gone, and for me, I was scared because I dared to imagine what it would be like to lose say my mum and the thought frightened me.
And if you've never been in that situation, believe me, you don't even have an idea of what it feels like. It's important to continue to emphasise on the need for us to love and appreciate our folks. Savour each moment with the ones you love, not because you dread that they may die tomorrow, but because it just feels right.
Tell your loved ones you love them and mean it, you know this, there’s nothing I’m writing now that you haven’t already heard or seen, so practise it! Appreciate the people you say you love and always show them that you truly love and care for them. Who gave you a guarantee that you’re going to see them tomorrow? No one, so do the needful!!
Live love and learn.