“weak certainly isn’t on the slate of he who deals with his shit”. You’re probably weak and susceptible to danger the most at the point you think you’re not. Vulnerability is the state or condition of being weak or poorly defended. And I kept on asking myself what exactly I was defending myself against. I guess we as a generation are obsessively keen on dismissing emotions, in every ramification. It’s like we forget our emotions are one of our inevitable characteristics and drivers.
For the longest time, I dreaded writing a particular type of article. To be specific, I dreaded writing articles or anything relating to emotions. To me, it was my way of not being a typical writer and not being looked at as weak or as a person who likes writing “emotional things”. The foremost reason which sounds ridiculous as I type was the fear of feeling vulnerable behind my words. The fear of my choice of words portraying me as a vulnerable person who has no form of defense against the evils of the world.
Someone who is and would always remain important told me something I would always hold on to. Just to be clear, I rarely hold on to the advices of people because they usually don’t hold water. He told me to not dim my light for fear, to not restrict my genre of writing to suit anybody’s taste. He also said I am destined for greatness and that I should keep writing and never stop. These weren’t his exact words of course, but these were the interpretations I made from his words.
Our obsession to hide emotions is scary, but what’s even scarier is how this obsession prevents us from truly living life and how it just happens that while we’re hiding them for fear of looking vulnerable, our weaknesses or fears become louder and oblivious.
I guess I understand why we have chosen to be this way, but at the same time, I can’t fathom why we have chosen to obsess so much about it that it affects not just our relationships with people, but even our daily lives.
To think that for every time I wrote an article that carried deep emotions, I felt weak and susceptible to danger. I felt like the world was knowing too much information about me, I felt like I didn’t have enough defense. Honestly, there’s always some element of me in those write ups, and every little piece of information I let out about me seemed like too much information. That was just an irrational fear, and I knew. I knew I was scared, but most importantly, I knew I was susceptible to danger — the danger of being unfulfilled as a writer.
Now, I’ve come to understand that my stories are a simply a synonym of the stories of so many others, be it good or bad. And when I share a tiny piece of them, it’s me sharing for others. I’ve also come to understand that we’re humans after all, and we can’t shy away from emotions. It’s simply impossible and so when I post stories or articles that carry emotions, those who want to read them would, no matter what.
Don’t kill your shine just to satisfy the taste, whims and wants of others and don’t stop writing those articles simply because the world looks like the people in it have shut down their emotions, and find any and every thing related to that boring or disgusting.
The world is your runway you know, walk it with grace, poise, emotions or whatever. But walk it and walk it gracefully.